Saturday, September 26, 2009


1.58 pm : A and R are walking through the corridor and see You-know-who standing at the door.R has promised A that there will be many people attending.But it turns out that R and A are all alone.Now they stand right in front of You-know-who.You-know-who asks "What do you want?".A timidly replies "Sir..Lecture".You-know-who says "What time was it?".R says "2 minutes to go sir" in a volume that only A can hear! Suddenly a brave man called K turns up and loudly announces "Still 2 minutes left sir".You-know who glances at his cell phone and says "So are right..Come in".

And then it begins...2.00 pm sharp and You-know-who starts dropping pearls of wisdom !

1>I have 2 rules which you must accept before we begin :
" The syllabus has been completed 10 days back when you were all absent.And Because you were absent I assume that you know all that there is to know and will successfully and completely solve the problem I give.Only if you do that will you be allowed to mark the attendance."
K ,A and R all look at each other but decide that they are in a soup and there is no way out !

2>You-know-who gives some problem - pretty easy one actually but he (as always) has great expectations.10-12 minutes one does anything.K and R are trying to think of (or pretending to think of) something.A is too sleepy and is just looking into R's book.

3>Suddenly You-know-who speaks "This is the 56th lecture I am conducting for your class.In 22 lectures I had atleast 1 student.For the other 34 I came and waited for students."
A,R,K all look up at You-know-who in admiration and then look down and try scribbling something.

4>Then You-know-who turns "dildar".Suddenly decides to help.Starts dictating the answer! Occasionally asking a question.A,K and R keep nodding and saying something here and there.You-know-who is happy.Its been ages since he has had a full classroom :D

5>Then You-know-who becomes his usual self.Starts calling programmers as typists with graduate and post graduate degrees.Talks of recession.Warns A,R and K to mend their ways or join an NIIT course.Tells A,R,K that he expects them to submit documentation of 150+ pages when all they usually submit is 1 (copied) page.And well the usual stuff...

6>Suddenly he feels pity for A,R,K and decides to allow them to mark attendance even if they can complete the input part of the program.But A,R,K dont know how to add a single word to what has been dictated to them.Then You-know-who opens the green book.Points at A and asks "What is your number?Pahilyanda pahtoy tula".A replies 4243.You-know-who looks through and announces "2 present out of 56".Then he asks R.R replies "Sir same".You-know-who's face brightens up."We can plot a graph of your attendance and predict which ones are friends." and then suddenly winks and adds "Ani jodya pan shodhta yetil.Barober doghe doghe yetat".
(A has a feeling that he might actually go home and try that)

Looking at A,R and K's poor attendance and innocent faces or maybe the fact that they amused him for 1 hour,You-know-who passes the attendance sheet.The attendance sheet looks up at them with hope.Poor thing is all red.Its been 7 lectures since anyone has signed on it !!
And now its wait is over (and so is ours ;))....3 signatures at the end of the hour marked the happy ending !

And thus A,R and K survived You-know-who's CRUCIO !!!....

A,R and K are Aruna ,Ruta and Kapil respectively...You-know-who is best left to the readers knowledge and experience (if PICTian) or his imagination (if otherwise)...

Happy reading ! :)


  1. nice !! :-D

    i knew i too should have attended today :-(

  2. OMG! I havent laughed sooooo much in a very long time.

  3. Actually I accidently entered the lecture. I was comin from the staircase.. I saw HOD on my right so I turned left and I was in DANGER ZONE... It was indeed a brave thing to do!!!

  4. @Aruna : Were u takin notes of the same in the lect... :P

    @Shweta : (In Hinglish) The one whose burns only can understand...

  5. @CAPS ...Ofcourse...ashi lectures 4 years madhe ekda yetat...notes nako ka ghyayla ???

  6. What an experience!! And good use of the phrase 'YOU KNOW WHO ' !! :-)

  7. @Shweta... Well in that case I am glad :)
    How are you feeling now?

    @Shriniket..Yeah..Really and since it ended with marking attendance it was worth it :D

  8. Wow!! Was it on saturday? I bet it is SaJo

    For a moment i though you referring to Voldemort. He is always referred as YOU-KNOW-WHO, if i am not wrong.

  9. @Neer...Be it saturday or sunday...You can _NEVER_ be wrong..IT has to be sajo !! :D

  10. hahahah!!! solid experience wonderfully put into was quite fun actually to be there!!!lolz...

  11. I know u won't be surprised to know this but we too had a same experience today, with the YOU-KNOW-WHO in common and instead of u 3 we were 6, and our story did'nt had the happies endings like urs coz after the torture of one hour we were'nt even allowed to mark attendance.....

  12. @Tanmay, Tich tar maja ahe :D :D

  13. kasa basa eka divshi lavkar jaaga zalo and without seeing to time-table ran to attend the class... It was 9:02 AM and "YOU-KNOW-WHO" was roaming in the EMPTY class.. YOU-KNOW-WHO said "Wats the time??" I looked at the empty benches and said to myself "Ek tar koni nahi, aani..." :P I said to YOU-KNOW-WHO "Sorry sir !! I'm 2 minutes late.. :( " ... YOU-KNOW-WHO said "Nope.. u are LATE.. u are not allowed !!".. I heaved a sigh of relief !! :) ... parat jaatana mi vichar kela... "Mag ha thamblay kashala ????" :P

    Arey... he tar rahilach ki... Well written... Keep writing :)